Elizabeth is Dead – Medium

Elizabeth is Dead

Elizabeth is Dead

Estée Lauder Killed My Twins

Just kidding — she wishes!!!

2 min readApr 9, 2023

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Estée Lauder Killed My Twins

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Elizabeth is Dead

Tales From the Crypt: Fish Fights and the Erotic Art of Sharing Bad News

Excerpts from the diary of yours truly.

3 min readJun 2, 2022

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Tales From the Crypt: Fish Fights and the Erotic Art of Sharing Bad News

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Elizabeth is Dead

Tales From the Crypt: Hotels for Dogs and Why I Think I’m Dying

Excerpts from the diary of yours truly.

2 min readMay 26, 2022

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Tales From the Crypt: Hotels for Dogs and Why I Think I’m Dying

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Elizabeth is Dead

Tales From the Crypt: Store Dookie, Shoe Trash, and Gossiping With the Maintenance Man

Excerpts from the diary of yours truly.

2 min readMay 25, 2022

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1

Tales From the Crypt: Store Dookie, Shoe Trash, and Gossiping With the Maintenance Man

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1

Elizabeth is Dead

Tales From the Crypt: Carni People and What The Internet Says About Jesus

Excerpts from the diary of yours truly.

2 min readMay 20, 2022

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Tales From the Crypt: Carni People and What The Internet Says About Jesus

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Elizabeth is Dead

Tales From the Crypt: Vibrators, Sharks, and Avoiding Charity

Excerpts from the diary of yours truly.

2 min readMay 19, 2022

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Tales From the Crypt: Vibrators, Sharks, and Avoiding Charity

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Elizabeth is Dead
in
Slackjaw

If Your Dad Made His Own Beer

Unlike you and your life choices, these drinks don’t disappoint!

2 min readMar 14, 2022

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If Your Dad Made His Own Beer

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Elizabeth is Dead
in
Slackjaw

New Yoga Moves for New Moms

Find serenity in your day with these simple poses you’re probably, definitely 100% already doing.

2 min readFeb 28, 2022

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New Yoga Moves for New Moms

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Elizabeth is Dead
in
Slackjaw

Forget About Your Worries At This Climate Crisis-Inspired Spa

Because you can’t help the planet if you can’t help yourself.

3 min readFeb 7, 2022

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Forget About Your Worries At This Climate Crisis-Inspired Spa

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Elizabeth is Dead
in
The Haven

All I Want for Christmas is Boobs (And Other Elective Procedures)

I know this all might seem like a bit much, but it’s a proven fact that beautiful people are happier and therefore nicer. It’s science!

5 min readDec 20, 2021

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All I Want for Christmas is Boobs (And Other Elective Procedures)

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Elizabeth is Dead

Elizabeth is Dead

Liz Wolfe is an exaggerated nonfiction writer and satirical cartoonist. You can read more of her drivel at https://elizabethisdead.com/.

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